Dear Moneyist,
Over five years ago I lost my life partner Jane to cancer. We never married, but lived together for over 25 years. Her adult son (Jim) from an earlier marriage is the executor of her will; I am next in line as executor. Jim has not closed probate and all of Jane’s assets are still in the estate. Jane and I owned a house, which I now live in. I am paying all expenses for the house, including taxes and mortgage.
Jane’s will granted me the right to buy out her share of the house. I made a fair market value offer to Jim for the house three years ago. Specifically, I adjusted the then-appraised value of the house by the amounts I spent on the upkeep. Jim and his attorney haven’t responded to my offer other than the attorney verbally telling me I owed rent on the property (yikes!).
Also see: My wife left me after two days of marriage — should I divorce her?
So, my living status is in limbo as the California housing market has increased the value of the house, possibly out of my financial reach. I’m pretty much at wits’ end. I’ve been told by one attorney that my only option is to petition the court to have Jim removed as executor. But I don’t want to handle the entire estate (which is now terribly delinquent), I just want to own the house free and clear.
Letters and emails go unanswered, other than vague promises to get the probate back on track. I am old and retired; I cannot afford a long legal battle.
Any suggestions on what to do next?
Pete in California
Dear Pete,
Writing to the Moneyist is Step 1. But you need to take Step 2 and resist your urge to avoid confrontation.
Jim is trying to smoke you out, with passive-aggressive legal delays. This will be far more costly to you if you do nothing. Firstly, check the deeds of the house to establish whether you are (a) tenants in common or (b) joint tenants with survivorship rights. Tenancy in common has no survivorship rights if none are specified in a will, but the latter means that you will own the house you shared with Jane outright.
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Taking legal action doesn’t mean you will have a costly legal battle. Your retirement gives you the time you need to devote to this. You could petition the court to have Jim removed as executor, citing his unwillingness to abide by the terms of the will. To do nothing would be far more costly in the long run. Jane’s son is either hoping you give up and sell him your share of the home or acquiesce to his demands to pay him rent, as the home rises in value and (as such) increases his pay day if/when you need to buy out his/Jane’s half.
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You may have to file a “partition action” to the probate court forcing the sale of the home and dividing the proceeds between the estate and yourself if the property is not voluntarily sold by the estate (in the event you and Jane were tenants in common), according to Patricia Payne, a Washington, D.C.-based lawyer. “Also, it may be possible for Pete to sue the estate for some (or half) of the expenses of the home,” she adds. Jim is betting on your crumbling and taking no action.
Honor Jane’s memory and her wishes. And don’t prove Jim right.
(Names of the parties in Pete’s letter have been changed.)
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